America: The ADHD Nation And How It Will Survive With A Terminally Short Attention Span

As a nation we are so distractible that it makes a coherent national dialogue nearly impossible. And so it's a major advantage to the Republican's Party to change subjects frequently and the more inane the subject the better.

Consider the recent—attempt to change the subject—John Boehner, Mike Pence, Eric Cantor and company called a press conference to announce the NEW and AMAZING "Republican Budget Hail Mary Budget Proposal".

What was this information packed document?

Exactly, 19 pages, including a front and back cover, of complaints that the Democratic Budget wouldn't work, and the Republicans were offering an alternative—well sort of an outline of a rough idea of some core Republican principles, announcing that, a Republican budget was in the works and would be ready on Wednesday, the day that the Democratic budget would come up for a vote, and just in time to say that they were locked out of the budget discussion and the Democrats ignored their Plan.

Are you distracted yet? It gets even better. I actually downloaded "the disloyal oppositions" Budget Alternative and read it. I'll spare you the gory details, because there were none. NADA ZIP, so I'll just give you some of the highlights—which is exactly what they presented. Highlights.

I actually getting dizzy just thinking about this incredibly shallow subterfuge, presented by the Republicans current best and brightest leadershit. (that's not a typo) It almost makes you long for a return of the Master Machiavellian Mind Melter, dare I say, Karl, "the turd-blossom", Rove.

Here is their budget, in black italics, as I read between their lies—I mean the lines—nah—I do mean their lies. (As always my commentary is in red) (I intentionally left out their bitching about the Democrats budget and concentrated on their "ideas", which made for a pretty short read.)

(The Title Page reads)
The Republican Road to Recovery
(from the Republican Road to Disaster!)

(Page 1 begins)
To the American People: Many of our fellow citizens are hurting. (No kidding, and since when did that bother you?) Our economy continues to weather the worst since the 1970s (Take that Jimmy Carter. I notice they didn't refer to Bill Clinton. Oh yea, he left office with a budget surplus and high employment, but, we almost impeach his ass anyway.)

Far too many spend their work days worried that the next phone call will bring an end to a job only to go home and check the mail for further evidence that years of retirement savings or a children's college savings has dissipated. Such a financial strain threatens to split many families and communities and force even more to postpone the American dream. (Gee I wonder how that happened? Oh yea! Never mind. That happened on our watch. Opps! Sorry! Please just trust us again because this time we have your best interests at heart. No really we're serious.)

The President (known to us as that "trash" in the White House) calls for "A New Era of Responsibility" (unlike the Republican era, of total irresponsibility) as the title of his budget states. But a closer look at the Democrat budget reveals something far different—it spends too much, taxes too much, and borrows too much. (emphasis is theirs and repeats their favorite talking point—THEY, TAX TOO MUCH—THEY, SPEND TOO MUCH—THEY, BORROW TOO MUCH—AND FROM CHINA NO LESS—WHICH IS UN-AMERICAN—WHICH WE KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT—HOW DO YOU THINK WE FINANCED THE IRAQ WAR?—AND NOW THOSE THOSE DAMN DEMOCRATS WANT TO—sorry what was I saying?)

(And here are some of their stunning new ideas:)

OUR PROPOSAL

CURBS SPENDING (Republican spending GOOD Democratic spending BAD)
• Limits the Federal Budget from growing Faster than Family Budgets
Instead of spending money on wasteful programs (like Star Wars and other military boonedoogles) under the guise of "stimulus" (like educating your children for the future, because under our plan they will be flipping hamburgers or doing something useful like shining our shoes) and "investments," (like building bridges that won't fall down and kill you on the on your way to work, because we shipped your job overseas, so you won't need that nasty old bridge anyway, right?) Republicans seek to ensure that the federal budget cannot grow faster (than it did under Bush and) than families' ability to pay the bill. (How about the rich guys aren't they going to chip in just a little?)(By the way, didn't American wages stagnate under you guys for the last eight years? So what growth are you talking about here?)

• Provide Universal Access to Health Care and Secure Entitlements "by using Common Sense Reforms"
Instead of accelerating (our drive to accomplish) the demise of our nation's large entitlement programs, such as Medicare and Medicaid, and creating new unsustainable entitlements, Republicans seek to provide (witch doctors for you whinny bastards which we will bring in from under developed nations on our nifty H-1B visa program) universal access to affordable health care (with savings accounts tied to the stock Markets that we deregulated so they could run amok and crash like your 401 Ks did) and to address our entitlements' trillion dollar unfunded liabilities with common-sense (who knew all it took was common sense) reforms that ensure our children and grandchildren can secure future benefits. (the same witch doctors for your whinny bastards)


(Page 2 begins)

CREATES JOBS AND LOWERS TAXES
• Lowers Taxes
Instead of raising taxes on all Americans in the midst of a recession, Republicans seek to reduce the tax burden on working families and small businesses, in order to create jobs and unlock private (it's trickling down, don't worry its coming already) capital. (There's a twist that will make your head spin or is it a spin that will make your head twist? Is this a variation on the trickle down where the rich get all the tax breaks and the "average American gets screwed or are they stealing Obama's 95 percent of American idea? I am so confused! Just kidding, I know their blowing smoke up my ass, how about you?)

• Keeps Energy and Fuel Costs Low (Remember that 4.00 a gallon gas you got, while we gave the oil companies tax subsidies and they raked in billions in profits? Cheap right? Am I right?)
Instead of taxing all energy users (like the oil companies, they get the subsidies and you get the shaft) with a new national energy tax that will cost up to $3,128 per household, Republicans want energy independence (sorry, I think Obama already said that first guys) with increased development of all (drill ANWAR baby drill!) our natural resources, including renewable energy sources, such as wind and solar. (Before you know it they'll be hugging trees)

CONTROLS THE DEBT
• Ends the Bailouts (which we started) and Reforms the Financial System
Instead of nationalizing our financial system (which will traumatize the rich) and heaping trillions of dollars of debt on future generations, (by the way how do we pay this debt if nobody is going to pay taxes?) Republicans want to protect taxpayers (remember the rich are people too!) and provide a transparent recovery process (by not stamping everything Top Secret and destroying any incriminating evidence like we have been forced to do in the past) that does not favor those that have made unsound business decisions. We will ensure that this financial crisis can never occur again. (and re-regulate the Financial industry that we have been deregulating for the past 24 years, which started under the capable leadership of Ronald Reagan and Phil Graham)

• Keeps the Cost of Living Low
Instead of returning to double digit levels of inflation (we'll return to Allan Greenspan blowing smoke up your ass and go back to quadruple inflation levels you fucking morons) and the failed economic policies of the 1970s, (Damn that Jimmy Carter! Is he still alive?) Republicans support maintaining the cost of living (by exporting your job and importing billions of cheap imported products, which you can buy at WAL-MART, made by 37 cent an hour workers who now have your job in China? Why didn't I think of that?) after witnessing the booms and busts triggered by (our Republican) loose monetary policy. (and by our deregulation of the entire Financial Sector?)

(This is followed by the signatures of the ten Senior Republicans)

(end page two)

Suffice to say there are 16 more pages of this absolute dribble, including a back cover but, I'll stop here because I believe in the American ideal of no torture and the Constitutional precept of no cruel or unusual punishment unlike, the Dick, Cheney.

So, now let's refocus on the plain FACTS.

FACT: The Republicans spent in excess of three trillion dollars "off the books" on their trumped up War in Iraq that enriched their friends and impoverished the American people.

FACT: The Republicans controlled the House, Senate and White House for the better part of the last 24 years and during that time spent more money than all the previous administrations in American history combined, including their favorite Democratic whipping boy, FDR.

FACT: The Republicans deregulated the American Financial Sector to the point of a meltdown and greed ran rampant.

FACT: The Republicans never once cared about sustainable energy, your job, or the middle class.

FACT: The Republicans gave tax breaks to American Corporations that were outsourcing American jobs while American's wages stagnated.

FACT: The Republicans enslaved the "average American" by cutting taxes on the rich and running red ink into the foreseeable future while telling us, "the fundamentals of our economy were sound".

FACT: The Republicans lost millions of American jobs by signing us up for bad trade policies. NAFTA, CAFTA, and SHAFTA.

FACT: The Republicans sat by while the Puppet-in-Command and his puppeteer, the Dick, Cheney, et al, gutted the Constitution.

FACT: The Republicans used fear mongering to misdirect patriotic American's into supporting their twisted agenda.

FACT: The Republicans conjured up a nonexistent Iraqi threat and ran it real costs "off the books" so that it was never part of the budget.

FACT: The Republicans had Allan Greenspan telling the American people that inflation was under control, but not, because The Republicans changed the way inflation was calculated for, when everyone knew that in their world inflation was out of control.

(However, given a second chance I'm sure they'll get it right.)

Now where did I put my Ritalin?


If you want to read the full Plan here's the link: www.gop.gov/solutions/budget/road-to-recovery-final